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75+ Hilarious Football Puns That’ll Score Big Laughs: Touchdown Humor for Fans

Cartoon football stadium scene

Football puns are a hilarious way to score laughs and kick your humor up a notch. As a die-hard fan of both the sport and wordplay, I’ve tackled countless puns that’ll have you rolling on the field with laughter.

In this article, I’ll share some of the best football puns that’ll make you the MVP of any conversation. You’ll learn:

  • Classic football puns that never go out of style
  • Clever wordplay for specific football positions
  • Touchdown-worthy jokes for game-day banter

14 Quarterback Jokes

  1. Why did the quarterback go to the bank? To get his quarter back!
  2. What’s a quarterback’s favorite drink? A pass-ta colada!
  3. How does a quarterback stay cool? He stands next to the fans!
  4. Why was the quarterback arrested? For illegal passing!
  5. What do you call a quarterback who’s always on time? A punctual passer!
  6. Why don’t quarterbacks like to play cards? Too many passes!
  7. What’s a quarterback’s favorite dessert? Football cake!
  8. Why did the quarterback bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to go for a higher pass!
  9. What do you call a quarterback who’s always complaining? A whine receiver!
  10. Why did the quarterback refuse to play on artificial turf? He preferred natural grass roots!
  11. What’s a quarterback’s favorite type of math? Long division!
  12. Why was the quarterback good at darts? He always hit the bullseye zone!
  13. What do you call a quarterback who’s always lounging around? A couch quarterback!
  14. Why did the quarterback start a garden? He wanted to improve his ground game!

25 Touchdown Wordplay

  1. I’m having a ball with these touchdown puns.
  2. These jokes are sure to score big laughs.
  3. You’ll get a kick out of these football puns.
  4. These puns are truly in a league of their own.
  5. I’m tackling some serious wordplay here.
  6. These jokes are real game-changers.
  7. You’ll be rushing to share these puns.
  8. These wordplays are definitely first-string material.
  9. I’m not passing up the chance to share these jokes.
  10. These puns are sure to be a touchdown with fans.
  11. You’ll be on the offensive with these witty remarks.
  12. These jokes are real crowd-pleasers.
  13. I’m pulling out all the stops with these puns.
  14. You’ll be running circles around others with these quips.
  15. These puns are sure to make you the MVP of humor.
  16. I’m not dropping the ball with these touchdown jokes.
  17. You’ll be gaining yards of laughter with these puns.
  18. These jokes are sure to put points on the scoreboard.
  19. I’m throwing a Hail Mary with these wordplays.
  20. You’ll be in the end zone of hilarity with these quips.
  21. These puns are sure to be a hit on the field of humor.
  22. I’m making a play for laughs with these jokes.
  23. You’ll be flagged for excessive celebration after hearing these.
  24. These puns are sure to give you the home-field advantage.
  25. I’m going for a two-point conversion with these wordplays.

15 Football Equipment Puns

  1. Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to go for a high-tackle!
  2. What’s a football player’s favorite breakfast? Cleats and eggs.
  3. I tried to catch the football, but it slipped through my hands. I guess I need better receiver-ship.
  4. The quarterback’s favorite dance? The pigskin slide.
  5. Why was the football equipment always happy? It had a ball!
  6. What do you call a football player who’s always cold? A chilly pad.
  7. The kicker’s favorite snack? Punt-cakes.
  8. Why did the football go to therapy? It had too many issues.
  9. What’s a football player’s favorite type of armor? Shoulder pads of steel.
  10. The lineman’s favorite dessert? Tackle pudding.
  11. Why was the football equipment so popular? It was always in uniform.
  12. What do you call a football player who’s great at math? A goal post graduate.
  13. The referee’s favorite movie? Flags of Our Fathers.
  14. Why did the football player bring a rope to practice? For some tight end training.
  15. What’s a football player’s favorite way to stay cool? Helmet fans.

13 Game Strategy Humor

  1. “I’m not a fan of the prevent defense. It’s too de-fence-ive!”
  2. “The coach’s favorite breakfast? A balanced offensive meal.”
  3. “Our game plan is like a good book – it has a strong cover-age.”
  4. “Why did the offensive coordinator go to art school? To learn how to draw up better plays!”
  5. “The quarterback’s favorite card game? Go deep fish.”
  6. “Our defensive strategy is simple: tackle our problems head-on.”
  7. “Why don’t football teams ever run out of plays? They always have a play-book.”
  8. “The coach’s motto: ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try a flea flicker.'”
  9. “What’s a linebacker’s favorite dance move? The blitz-krieg bop.”
  10. “Our offense is like a good joke – it has great timing.”
  11. “Why did the safety start a garden? He wanted to improve his coverage.”
  12. “The kicker’s favorite movie? ‘Field’ of Dreams.”
  13. “What’s a cornerback’s favorite snack? In-ter-chips-tions.”

13 Football Field Puns

  1. I’m always down for some field puns.
  2. These jokes are sure to yard you up.
  3. Let’s tackle these puns head-on.
  4. You’ll be running with laughter after these.
  5. These puns are a real touchdown.
  6. I’ll kick off with my favorite field joke.
  7. These jokes are right up my alley-oop.
  8. You’ll be caught off guard by these puns.
  9. Let’s huddle up for some laughs.
  10. These puns are sure to score big.
  11. I’m not offside when I say these are hilarious.
  12. You’ll be rushing to share these jokes.
  13. These puns are a field day of fun.

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